Dear Kellogg’s Raisin Bran: Here’s A Scoop for You

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IMG_20160413_131052279_HDRTo Whom it May Concern,

Right off the bat let me say I love your cereal. The raisins and the flaky things are a match made in heaven for breakfast, or a light snack, or a meal for supper. Thank you.

However, there are problems that need addressing. Firstly, after trial and error, I figured out that the package must be opened from the bottom because that’s where the whole two scoops of raisins have gravitated.

I cut the sealed inner bag with scissors across the top because there is no way in hell you can open it otherwise, even with young, good teeth.Which mine are neither young, nor . . . the dentist and I are good friends. Thank you for preserving that freshness for our refined and distinguished taste.

In the past, before I caught on to opening the package from the bottom, I would go box diving for the raisins because when I poured, all I got was bran. Which by itself is like eating delicate bark. That’s how we can always tell when something is good for us. The rough, bland taste.

Box diving requires a labor intensive approach. First you get out two bowls, or a bowl and a big cup. You pour your cereal into one container and, with your clean fingertips pick out the bran. Sometimes that is a long and tedious process because you have to keep a sharp eye out for those playfully mischievous little raisins. The first go round will probably only net a pitiful five or six raisins, so I have to go in again and start all over. But finally I get what I consider a good raisin to bran ratio. For me, I must have at least one raisin for every spoonful — with milk of course.

IMG_20160413_131310789I have to warn other cereal box divers though — there’s no way you can hide this habit. Husbands might feel shortchanged on the raisin deal.

But that’s when the other problem crops up. After all that trouble, it still takes me three or four bites to get a raisin, even after stirring well and dipping from the bottom. Then, to add insult to injury, the next spoonful will be nothing BUT raisins.

So here’s the deal. My suggestion is that you should make this one little improvement. You should come up with some kind of edible bonding agent that pull bite-sized portions of bran and raisin together. Raisins cannot be trusted to go wondering around by themselves. This will keep us consumers from having to open your attractive packaging upside down — which, uh, goes against the grain — but there will be enough raisin-bran bites to keep my marriage, as well as my body, healthy.

Thank you for listening and please don’t go up on the price if and when you make Raisin Bran clusters. We must be cost effective as well as consumer friendly, mustn’t we.

Yours Truly,

Linda Smith