Bonfire of the Insanities; Zombies Night Out with the Smiths

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Henry (Reedy) Smith and wife Tammy. When Henry was six he had a lisp and would sing “Go Away Little Ghoul” by Bobby Vee. Actual title was “Go Away Little Girl”.

I’m late with the Halloween pics this year. Lots has happened since a little over a month ago. It’s why I haven’t posted much in a while. More later on that. Anyway. Here is our yearly bonfire, dress-up, fun time. I’m sure you’ve been waiting with bated breath. Okay. I do tend to exaggerate slightly.

The following tale is true. This costumed, bonfired, ghoulish night was not All Hallows Eve. This was actually Hallows Night — if there is such a thing. The reason is that it was freezing on Friday — October 31 — which was Halloween night. It was also spitting cold rain, with a wind blowing like a fat man following an old Jane Fonda aerobics video. As my husband used to say — “That witch will kill ya.” And he wasn’t kidding. In other words, what I’m saying is — “It was a dark and stormy night.” Great for Halloween. Bad for actual living bones and children. Thus, we had our costumes and cookout on Saturday night.

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We had the festivities in the patch of woods out front, where we have it every year. Spooky, huh. Wait. Wait. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

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Our campfire commander-in-chief cook and bottle washer is this bloody ghoulie zombie, my husband, Mike. He messes up nice, doesn’t he?

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There’s a story behind that. You KNEW that was coming, didn’t you? Okay. Mike is sneaky. He got all bloodied up before anybody else even thought of getting into character. [We’re such a bunch of hams we hardly needed the hot dogs]. Henry was just getting out of his car when Mike sneaked up behind the open door and jumped out at him. I don’t know how loud Henry yelled, but he had to apologize for an expletive which could be heard throughout the neighborhood.

Henry was the last to get gussied up. He came as a brain-eating zombie escapee from a mental institution. A stretch, huh.

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Tammy came with her face zippered down to her nose. Henry commented it would be best if she zippered it all the way past her mouth. Tammy smacked him for the unsolicited advice.

Now from the horrendously bizarre to the creepy Black Water Hattie — Swamp Witch — swamps are hard to find in the Alabama hills let me tell you. She had to creep a long way. But, boy, did this witch (my daughter Michelle) put on a show.

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MICHELLE – AS SWAMP WITCH HATTIE

MICHELLE – AS SWAMP WITCH HATTIE

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ME — AS THE BRIDE OF . . . SOMETHING. I’M ALSO THE MOTHER OF . . . SOMETHING . . .WHICH IS LURKING BEHIND ME.

DSCN3637DSCN3689Montana and friend, Heather. The Vampiress and Mary Poppins. They played at changing costumes and faces while mingling with the crowd. Heather played the victim who gets lost in the woods and runs, runs, runs in a panicked frenzy. Oh, well. She and Montana vied for the hot dogs and chili. Later, Montana tries the Mary Poppins with fangs. Okay. Yeah, it was different. Blending two characters into one might catch on.

HEY! HATTIE! WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!!!

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The whole family got into the act. Enter Mr. and Mrs. Brown. Katie and Randy, sister and bro in law ghouls. Well, Katie is the ghoul. And she’s out for blood since Randy came as a Russian spy vs . . . something.

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And now for the Halloween Family Photo. Mike, me, and Henry and Michelle. Don’t you think it ought to go over the mantle so our descendants can be proud? Say, what? Man, you go no taste atall.

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The Smith Family . . . Something . . . 

Swamp Witch Hattie song by Jim Stafford